I have been troubled all week.

I thought it was anxiety over finances. And sure, there was a little of that.

But there was also this, this, and then last night, this. What a week for our country.

A few weeks ago there was the gorilla accident at the Cincinnati zoo, the alligator tragedy at Disney World. Orlando.

And attached to ALL of these incidents? A common denominator? A similar theme?

BLAME.

Cops. Blacks. Mothers. Gays. Muslims. Obama. It’s always that guy, isn’t it?

Only, I woke this morning realizing,

“THEY” are not the problem.

I am.

I didn’t grow up learning hate. It wasn’t taught to me. Thankfully, my parents never got around to teaching me how to hate people. It’s not like they sat me down and told me not to hate. They just didn’t teach me TO hate.

They did teach me to have an opinion. And sometimes, how I communicate my opinion is part of the problem. Or wait. Maybe, sometimes, my words are not so much the problem, as much as they are not part of a solution. Hmmm. Deep. Regardless. My small voice has contributed to anger and hate.

Has yours?

We all play a role in this mess.

So, I woke this morning. Sat up. Skipped my work-out. Stayed in pajamas. Sipped my coffee. And let my fingers tap out what my brain was thinking.

Here it is. If only my posts about health and nutrition would garner so many likes and shares! Ha!

I have friends who are black.
I have friends who are cops.
I have friends who are gay.
I have friends who are Muslim.
I have friends who have had abortions.
I have friends who will only vote for a pro-life candidate.
I have friends who are parents.
I have friends who are single.
I have friends voting for Trump.
I have friends supporting Clinton.
I have friends who are gun owners.
I have friends who support stronger gun control.
I have friends who are right-wing conservative.
I have friends who are far to the left.
I happen to like Obama.
I have friends who do not.
Etc.
 
But I am responsible for my words. My actions. My responses and reactions to those who are different and differ from me. To those I may not like. I am still accountable for how I treat them.
 
Check your own speech.
Here on FB even.
Is there even a small piece of ourselves/our language that incites hatred? Yes, memes and graphics DO. Accusatory statements, rather than dialogue, DO. Look closely. Do your seemingly insignificant statements have an underlining presence of hate? Even slight? It only take a fissure.
 
Change begins with micro adjustments made by individuals.
 
ME. YOU. US.
 
I am an adult. I choose my words. I choose my actions. I am responsible for me.
 
And frankly, I choose to have friendships with those who look, think, believe and live completely differently than I do.
 
On a film set, when they think they have the perfect take, they first “check the gate”… before moving on. To double-check there are no issues with the negative that could ruin the take.
 
How about we stop and check our own personal gates. For at this point it is not just “the other guy” who is the problem. It is time to ask ourselves, “What, where, when, why and how have I contributed?”
 
It’s ME. YOU. US.
 
Even tiny divisive words contribute to this national mess. They build up.
 
I can be FOR something without being AGAINST something else.
 
For black lives. Not against cops.
For cops. Not against black lives.
Do our language and treatment of others, (even behind closed doors or on our keyboards) reflect that we really value all lives?
 
We have become a country of extremes.
 
ME. YOU. US.
 
Check the gate.
Your own gate.