Sigh.
This great thing we had going is over.
When I was first approached by Heather to write for Pittsburgh Mom about 5 years ago, I was flattered. Not only was I new to Pittsburgh, but I’d only recently begun seeking freelance writing gigs, having been solely committed to my personal blog. I leaped at the opportunity. And then I panicked.
Writing for this demographic isn’t easy. This, I knew. We all feel strongly about how we parent. Moms have very deep-seated beliefs about how to raise their children. So strong are our convictions that when a new idea or suggestion surfaces, we have a tendency to react as if challenged. Especially when these discussions involve our children and occur over the internet. With strangers. I was understandably nervous. Would I connect with readers? Who was I to write about being a Mom?
Doh.
I AM a Mom. I have been for over 14 years now. I realized that writing for Pittsburgh Mom wasn’t about giving advice. It was about sharing personal experiences. I relaxed. A bit.
It has been fun for me to read Heather and Erin’s experiences and to celebrate the uniqueness of each of our lives. How boring this site would had been without the variety of content. My goal has never been to set out slinging wisdom, but rather, to share my life, ask questions and to spark constructive discussion. When Carpool Lane debuted I was learning how to be a Mom to a Pre-K and 3rd grader. As we bid our final farewells, those kids are now just shy of completing 4th and 8th grade. By all accounts, they seem to be doing well . . . I don’t think I’ve screwed them up too badly. It has been an honor to share my trials, successes and 2×4 parenting moments with you.
But vulnerability does not come without costs. Differences cause friction. I think we’ve all experienced a few heated comment threads. And while 5 years ago I would have felt the necessity to respond to every comment, I’ve grown into someone who values a controlled response or none at all, and the ability to let things go. I credit Pittsburgh Mom for building this value in me – for through the process of writing about my children I have found that my confidence and belief in my own parenting style has been strengthened. Being transparent has been an important piece of this journey. And let’s face it. I’ve been pretty open. I mean, come on, I’m the Mom who wrote about how much I can’t stand gift cards.
We all know how that went over.
As we move on from here, I am grateful. For I’ve grown as a writer, a Mother, and a person. And I sincerely hope the same for you.
As a writer I’ve learned that checking my intention and approach before putting “pen” to “paper” is enormously important. Am I sharing personal experiences and asking questions or simply pointing/wagging a finger to make my point? I think this is a good life lesson, writer or not.
As a Mom I’ve learned that what’s right for me is absolutely hands-down not the right choice for others. I hope we have all learned to value our uniqueness as parents without belittling others. We just can’t afford to do this to one another. Why create division?
As a person I’ve learned that regardless of disagreement, kindness is always the best approach. Rarely do we have all the details before making a judgement call about another Mom.
Atticus Finch puts it this way in “To Kill a Mockingbird”,
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”
May we all take this to heart as we continue to connect with others over this crazy world of the web.
And I hope you pop in to catch me at The Cuppa Jo, for I’ll still be hanging around there!
Connect. Be well. Be kind. Be you.
No more carpooling. I”m turning in my car keys. Over and out.
