2014?

You may now make your exit.

No curtain call. No standing ovation. Just leave the theater and get the lights on your way out, if you don’t mind.

Before I begin, let me preface this post by sharing that my heart is full of Love, Joy, Peace and Hope. Capitalized, of course, for Jesus IS Love, Joy, Peace and Hope. So what may seem like a broken, downtrodden, and despair-ridden post, while revealing honest feelings, does not fully embody my overall outlook on life. The year may have served up some heartbreak, but even that can not overshadow the truth of Christ’s glorious presence in my life. Regardless of all that occurred this year, I have been changed. For the better. And am entering 2015 with abundant gratitude for being walked through the desert.

Both 2013 and 2014 have been marked by loss for me.

But 2014 lapped 2013 big time.

Loss of self: I home schooled for the 2013-2014 school year. And while it was a terrific experience, it was also marked by loneliness – not a lot of adult interaction. When I began, I couldn’t have known that the winter would also prove to rough me up emotionally. I all but disappeared.

I was glad to have Zane home – for he is gentle, loving, and a downright snuggly soul. I needed him. Without him, I’m not sure I would have gotten out of bed. I often wonder if one of the reasons God called me to homeschool, was because He knew I’d need someone else home during the day from January-March. A beautiful result of our experience was getting to know Zane without his sister present – which doesn’t always happen with child #2. Our relationship is better for it. The loneliness and frigid temps may have been heavy-handed, but we made it.

Loss of friendship: Phew. If the winter blues weren’t hard enough, this was a year of friendships gone awry. But, as mentioned, God is with us in our deepest loss, and throughout the year, in the midst of my grief, He began to reveal my “lifers”.

Loss of voice: I experienced silence this year. God taught me the value and sacrifice of discretion. As someone who has learned tough lessons from having an overly active tongue – especially when I didn’t have all the facts, I now learned that one’s silence can be just as equally misinterpreted.

Loss of life: A gal from my high school days passed away from cardiac arrest after a hornet sting. My dear Nanny left us a week before Thanksgiving. My precious neighbor, who made everyone feel like the most important person in the room, and will always remain a model and mentor in my life, lost a tremendously courageous fight with cancer.

But here’s what happens when someone experiences loss.
They start anew.

I’m big on “His mercies are NEW every morning,” and have a watchful eye on how God seems to be refashioning me. As my father once told me after I missed reaching a goal I’d worked very hard to hit, “Look back and see what you can adjust moving forward, but don’t linger there.”

And thus, I’m not.

This is my farewell to that on which I’ve been lingering – for you may have noticed that the blog has been a bit quiet this year.

Enough of that.

No more lingering.

Welcome, 2015.